The Natives

Today I am a bit annoyed. It might have something to do with the cold I came down with a couple of days ago, which is making my yoga practice each morning very tiring. It might be the natives. It might be a combination of the two. Whatever the cause, I am going to indulge in a little bit of Indian bashing in this post...

The Landlord

I have never had a dodgy landlord. Sure, I have come in contact with some overzealous real estate agents in my days as a renter, but they only have to be dealt with every 3-6 months during inspections. However, the flat that I am renting now is attached to the house of the owner, aka the landlord. I am developing a dislike for my landlord.

He is an old man who spends all day at home, sharing his wisdom with everybody who comes within earshot. Men have been digging a trench out the front of the property the last couple of days, and he has spent all that time out there telling them how to dig said trench. When I knocked on my neighbour's door yesterday, he hurried over and showed me how to knock properly. He almost tripped me over this afternoon as I left the front gate, "helping" me to avoid a puddle left by the trench diggers.

Yesterday he was hosing down the concrete in front of my room, and started hosing down my new leather sandles. I jumped out of my room and grabbed them before they got to wet. "Hey, it is ok, no problem" he yelled. I quickly shut my door so that he would not see the look on my face that said "I don't care what you do to your leather shoes, but show some respect for my things please, you silly old man". That would have been taking it personally, and one should not do that at any costs.

The Gas Stove

When I first moved in the landlord was showing me around the flat, showing me how to use the light switches, operate the taps, use a key etc etc. We got to the stove, a simple contraption : a screw on burner on top of a gas bottle. We turned it on and a small blue flame was seen,
"Look, fire for cooking"
"very good, how high does it go?"
"this is max-i-mum"
"ah, it is not very strong, are you sure?"
"yes yes, look"
"this is not very strong, maybe the bottle is empty", I pick up the bottle and shake it, is indeed empty.
"No bos, full full"
"then the burner must be broken, I cannot cook with such a small flame, look I can put my hand in it", I wave my hand in the flame,
"NO BOSS, you burn yourself, very hot flame!"
"but look, no burning!"
"look boss, good stove, you cook fine"

The next morning I went to make some porridge, and the flame spluttered and died... the bottle was indeed empty. I point this out to the landlord and he says "yes, it is empty, I will fill today". The next day I get the full bottle back. He then tried to charge me for filling the bottle, but I informed him that gas and electricity were included in the rent. He protested that both were seperate bills, and that I should take the matter up with the Yoga Mandala through whom I had organised the flat. The Mandala confirmed that he was, indeed, being cheeky, and promised to have a word with him.

As he was leaving he said "I am old man, and now I am full tired from making table for you yesterday and filling the gas bottle." He waited for my reply, expecting some baksheesh for doing something he should have done before I moved in. I reply, "Then I won't bother you any more, go and take some rest". They never stop trying!

The kitchen table is another story, I had asked for a table in the kitchen, and he had hired a carpenter to remove the table from my bedroom (which I had told him to leave where it was) and put a new top on it. His involvment in fixing the table had been to stand next to the carpenter all day instructing him on the proper use of a hammer.

Be that as it may, that was all water under the bridge, because I had a stove now! Great, I put a couple of centimeters of water in the bottom of a pan, added some fresh spices and put it on to boil so that I could make some chai. Twenty minutes later the two centimeters of water had not boiled, and my fears about the stove not working "full power" were confirmed. I asked the landlord, and he told me that it was not his problem. Well, it was his problem, but I figured that I would have more success dealing with the Mandala.

Half an hour later I found myself at the establishment of a man who repairs stoves, electric mixers and other such kitchen appliances. He informed the helpful yound man from the Mandala and I that he did not have the proper spare part, but it would be ready by midday the next day.

When I returned the next day he smiled and handed me the stove... "It is fixed?"
"yes, new jet installed"
"good, can I see it working please?"
"ok ok"
The repair man then got out a spanner and began dismantling the burner and trying to clean the jet, which clearly had not be replaced. He put it back together, attached it to a cylinder and managed to extract a puny flame from the burner.
"my friend, you have not fixed anything!"
"problem with the jet boss"
"I know, you told me that you were going to replace it yesterday"
"but I need to replace it, look it is broken"
"I can see that it is broken, why did you try and give it back to me without fixing it?"
"Look, this is a new burner, you have for 160 rupees?"
"what about fixing my old burner?"
"but I need to get a new part"
"My friend, you are behaving very badly, I shall be back"

Far out. I returned to the Mandala and informed them of this new develpment, and that I was not happy at all to have a kitchen full of fresh ingredients and having to keep buying my meals. They promised to look into it, and that I would have it by the next morning. That was yesterday and I still haven't got my burner, even after another visit to the Mandala. But Ben, don't get upset, don't get impatient, this is how Indians are. Well OK, I will not get overly excited by these events, but I won't pretend to enjoy them either.

Nothing Personal

As I have said before, Indians also treat one another in a similar way, and one should not take things personally. You are allowed to raise your voice, shake your fist and make a scene, the Indian whom you are abusing will not take it personally. Thirty seconds later he is you best friend. Likewise you should not take any of his actions personally.

So I don't take it personally. I ignore the kids on my street, because every time I lower my guard and start chatting with them they stick their hands out and ask for "school pens" and "coins". Every time I make friends with someone my age, they end up asking for money directly or indirectly. I don't get upset when every time I buy a handicraft, or appliance from an Indian it breaks and they pretend to be surprised. Every time you give an Indian a chance they dissapoint, and this makes one suspect every friendly advance.

And there are people everywhere, one billion of them stuffed into a relatively small area. Everywhere one goes they will be approached by an Indian, so they are an integral part of the landscape, they are an unescapable aspect of the "Indian experience".

For this reason, if it wasn't for the yoga in Mysore and the friendly Westeners I am meeting, I would leave this country as soon as possible, and probably not return. I am capable of tolerating the Indians, not acknowleging them when they approach me on the street, staying detached from them, but I do not enjoy it. The vast majority of Indians one meets end up doing something that can offend and upset. I don't want to stop being open with people, I don't want to expect the worst from them in case they dissapoint me.